Harry Potter and the laws of insanity
by starburst27
Summary: One day, Harry presses an evil button that engulfs the universe in a reality where toast equals 76 and the laws of pyshics are nothing more than a small pile of Ostrich barf.
1. default

**Hi everyone. If you're looking for a Harry Potter fanfic with plot, drama, romance, and suspense then you should continue looking because you've come to the wrong place.**

** A you read the following chapters, Please keep in mind ONE thing...**

**I am an Idiot. **

**thank you for you time. **


	2. The Evil Button

Harry was walking down the hallways of Hogwarts when he came across a button labeled "For the sake of pineapples, do not press the freaking button". Harry smiled.

"How could i resist?" he asked himself, and he pressed the evil button.

Instantly, a wave of insanity engulfed the universe and created a reality where toast equaled 76 and the laws of pyshics where nothing more than a small pile of ostrich barf.

"Oh bugger" swore Harry.


	3. Harry gets burned

One day, Harry walked over to Ron.

"You smell like a really old cabbage stew" pointed out Harry.

"Well you smell like a dead raccoon that's been sitting in the sun for nine weeks." Spat Ron.

"Oohh burn" Said Hermoine.


	4. Harry eats stew

One day, Hagrid approached Harry.

"Hello 'Arry, Would ya' like some stew?" he asked. Harry nodded joyuflly.

"Oh yes please!"

"Alrigh then." Said Hagrid, and he pulled out a cauldron of Stew. Harry drank it all in one gulp.

"That was good. What was it made out of?" he asked.

"Fenrir Grayback" Hagrid said.

"oh. Well it was very tasty." harry said.

"Thank you. I worked very hard on it" Hagrid replied.


	5. Harry endures a tragedy

**Time for fun.

* * *

**

One day, Harry Potter was walking around Hogwarts, when He suddenlt had a terrifying realization.

"MY SOCKS DON'T MATCH!" he screeched.

Harry went into a spiraling depression and refused to come out of his room for eight years because of this tramatic experience.


	6. Ron draws a picture

Once upon a time, Ron weasly was drawing a picture of a rhino on the wall of Snapes office.

Snape walked in.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" he screamed.

"drawing" said Ron.

"Oh. Okay" said Snape, and he left.


	7. Hermoines greatest fear comes true

It was an average day for Hermoine, when she realized something.

"I'm in Kentucky!" she screamed, terrified.


	8. Snape reveals his secret

Snape looked left, and then looked right. He smiled and slowly removed his mask to reviel that...

He was actually a mongoose in a human sized robot. When everyone found out about this, there was mass panic

The world was never the same again.


	9. Dudleys secret dream

Dudley was sitting at the kicthen table.

"Sometimes," he sighed," I wish that I could communicate with muffins"

Petunia and Vernon both gasped and stopped what they were doing. Ashamed at their sons wishes, they ran off to Las Vega and became clowns.


	10. i don't even know

Neville walked past Dean Thomas, who glared at him.

"What" Neville asked.

"You know what you did" Growled Dean Thomas.


	11. Umbridges new hobby

One day, Umbridge decided to take up line dancing.

"I think i'll take up line dancing" she growled.

Sadly, Umbridge ended up being a horrendous line dancer.


	12. Harry makes a discovery

Harry ran over to Hermoine and Ron whom were baking muffins.

"Guys! Guess what!" Harry said.

"You just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Geico?" asked Ron.

Harry shook his head.

"You've just finished turning Fenrirs head into a turnip?" asked Hermoine

"No we ate him. Remeber?" said Harry.

"oh yeah..." Hermoine muttered under her breath.

"Well, what do you want to tell us harry?" asked Ron. Harry grinned, took out a burlap sack, and presented it to his friends.

"I found a bag" Announced Harry.

And there was much rejoicing.


	13. Dumbledore the great

Once upon a time, there lived a little buck toothed wombat thingy named Dumbledore.

One day, Dumbledore invented an amazing new method of drowning out the entire universe in order to be properly anti-scoial.

He called it the I-pod.

Sadly enough, a muggle stole his idea three days later, and Dumbledore went bankrupt.


End file.
